When I went to pick up kiddo it was under the impression that this was to be another respite-type stay as they tried to contact the courts to see where to go from here. There was no guarantee kiddo would be staying past the 5 days which led to high stress for us both. He didn’t want to go home and I couldn’t blame him. Repeated entries into foster care and repeated times being kicked out of the house…who wants that? But still, there was no guarantee.
As days went by, kiddo got more and more anxious. “How many days is it” he would ask. Finally, I asked “why do you keep asking that?” Come to find out one of the nuggets bio mom left him with was that he would only be able to stay with me for 5 days then have to go into a group home. That was never discussed…never even mentioned. So why then did mom say it? Because little by little she was starting to show another side; the side kiddo talked about while he was in my care the 1st time. “She’s not the same as when you talk to her; she’s being fake” he would tell me. Never before did I think he was being true. I just figured he was a typical kid who thought their parent was being “mean”. Not the case. Some of the stories he’s told since entering back into my home are too crazy to not be real.
As we waited to find out what was going to happen the days came and gone. Finally, we found out the court ordered him back into foster care. But his happiness was short lived. Even though bio mom had kicked him out twice and basically threatened him with abuse, they still wanted kiddo to participate in weekend visits. Really?!? The kid just said he was kicked out, with a therapist present no less, and you want him to spend the weekend there?
His worker came to discuss it and kiddo was adamant he did not want to go. He didn’t want to see mom, but more surprisingly he didn’t want to see his siblings either. I have never seen a person more done. He was instantly angry and said “I don’t wanna do visits” and “I’m done”. And I support his choices. Why should have to continue living this hell. Let’s face it, that’s exactly what it is. He doesn’t feel safe there and has no desire to go back.
For now visits are not happening. But I just wait for the time to discuss them again. For now he is safe and really back to his normal self with the subtraction of any self-worth. We’ll be working on that. Hopefully we’ll find out more soon, but for now we can just be happy he is being heard.
~Fostering With Love~ 